I’M MAD, I’M FAT, AND IT’S FRIDAY!
Greetings and Happy Mad Fat Friday to all of my fellow Fat Girls as well as all you Skinny Chicks who wish you were Fat Girls and any Fat Boys who might be interested!
I don’t know what you’ve been doing on this lovely day, but I’ve been watching and rewatching the video of Lindsay Lohan getting in trouble for not acting right during her probation! Who saw that one coming? Not me! And I don’t know what that correspondent, Gordon Tonka Truck, was talking about when he said she should be getting used to this by now! Gordon! How could you!
He said my girl LiLo (why do I always want to type LOL instead of that?) didn’t say a word as she “ran the gauntlet of reporters and cameras.” He made it sound like she was white water rafting and white water rafting is fun, I say! It’s fun! If I didn’t know better, I’d think he was implying that she actually enjoys the attention she’s getting! Come to think of it, I don’t know better so, Mr. Tonka Truck, how dare you! OMG I’m getting madder by the minute!
And that Stephanie Sautner! Trying to act like LOL, oops I mean LiLo should be responsible and make her appointments and such like the court tells her to do! What does that woman think she’s a judge or something? And then that bit about looking a gift horse in the mouth! What was that all about? Then those cameras zoomed in on my girl DilDo, oh gosh, I’m sorry, I mean LiLo, and she’s sitting there looking around like “I did what with a horse!”
I mean, that judge obviously doesn’t know what kind of iron will she’s up against trying to make little Miss Lohan do something. Remember back in 2008 when SpeedO, I mean LiLo, tried to jump on the Obama wagon and was politely turned away? But she kept on keeping on with the oral support even after Obama was quoted as saying that she was “not exactly the kind of high-profile star who would be positive for us.” I hate to be the one to point this out, but if a girl don’t listen to the President of the United States, she ain’t gonna listen to some measly judge!
I almost feel sorry for her poor lawyer standing there, telling the judge that poor Lindsay wasn’t in Europe having fun, she was trying to make money to support her family. What more does a judge need after that explanation? Has she not heard about Dina and Mike? I mean, Lindsay has been in The Parent Trap since she was born back in 1986!
I know people think SheBlo (oh man! I can’t get that right) I mean LiLo needs to Get a Clue and stop living like a Douchebag Drama Queen, but let me just say that maybe she can’t help it. Even Nice Girls don’t want to sit on the sidelines while Herbie is the only one getting Fully Loaded! Have you seen the last few movies she’s done? I haven’t! But I looked them up on Wikipedia and I think she’s trying to send us a message. In 2010, she was in a film called “Machete”. The year before that, she did one called “Labor Pains”. Eeeeeck! Scary! I say either let the bitch go or throw her in jail for good before something awful happens to us all!
Well, I don’t know what anybody else is doing this weekend, but I’m about to go dye my hair red and snort some ‘caine! Have a great Mad Fat Freaky Friday and wonderful weekend!
Much love from your fellow Fat Girl,
Ace Jones
