DEAR ABBY: Over the past few years, as social media has become more popular, I have noticed a trend among many people. They now favor that form of communication over personal human interaction. This is especially true of my girlfriend of five years.
We have the normal relationship problems I feel could be addressed, but from the moment she gets home from work she’s in front of the computer playing Facebook games, posting status updates or messaging “friends.” She sits there for hours, lost in her virtual world. We rarely talk anymore, and when we do it turns into an argument because I’m trying to discuss what I see as a serious problem.
The Internet and social media are great tools for bringing worlds together, if they are not abused. But for many people, I think, social media is doing more harm than good. It has depersonalized human contact and has the potential to destroy relationships and isolate individuals.
I’m interested in your opinion and any advice you can give me on helping my girlfriend understand my concerns. — ALONE IN THE REAL WORLD
DEAR ABBY SAYS…
DEAR ALONE: People cannot be two places at once. When relationships aren’t nurtured, they wither. If this has been going on for an extended period, then it’s time you give your girlfriend a wake-up call: You feel abandoned. By spending more time in the virtual world than in the real one, she is neglecting her relationship with you.
Ask her if she would be willing to work on a compromise so that she spends time with you. If she can’t do that, and the Internet is giving her everything she needs, then you should find a lady who is willing to give you more of what you need, which is undivided attention.
ACE JONES SAYS…
Okay Loner, I’ve got the perfect plan for ya! Dump that bitch and find yourself a woman with some functioning brain cells! Winner! Winner! Chicken Dinner! Dang, I am so good at this!
BUT, since you’re the kind of guy who writes to Dear Abby about your love life, then you might be the sensitive type so in consideration of that, here is your…
Plan B: Establish your own social media empire and out-ignore your lame ass girlfriend. This is too easy! You’re a dude, so as soon as you join Facebook, a hundred thousand girls who look like hookers will immediately try to be your friend. Sure, they’re probably just some grimy, stinkin’ low-life trying to steal your identity or get you to visit their porn site, but who cares? It’s a numbers game, right? Right! Then get yourself a Twitter account and Tweet the shit out of it. Can’t think of anything to say? Who cares? It’s just one big one-way conversation anyway! So get busy tossing up random thoughts that consist of 140 characters or less. OR you could just sit there and read funny Tweets from the Fake CNN like I do.
Okay, so next you need to start a blog where you document every word of every argument y’all have had about this issue. Because that would be some good stuff right there! Next, you should link all that shit up so your blog posts to Twitter and your Twitter to Facebook. Now, that one step could very well solve all of your problems because depending on how old you are, you could die of old age before you get all that crap figured out.
At any rate, I feel compelled to offer up a Plan C: Go, man! Get out of there! Go downtown and get a drink. Go to Hooters. Go buy an xBox (that’ll burn her ass up -I promise). Go crazy and kick her to the curb (wait, that’s Plan A). Go get laid (oh, I should not have said that but, I did… so there it is).
Whatever you decide to do, just be sure not to keep sitting there like a knot on a log! And don’t waste your time arguing unless you need it for your new blog! Hehe! Get out have some some fun! Who knows, you might run across a nice girl who thinks life is grand without a cell phone mounted to her face. Problem solved! Holla!