Hey all, I’m mad, I’m fat and guess what? It’s Friiiday, Friiiiday gotta get mad on Friiiday….
Sorry I had to do it, besides what’s life without pissing a few people off each day? You know what pisses me off, well I’m about to break it down for you.
1) Skinny people who work at plus sized clothing stores. I love my retail job, I work part-part time (4-8 hours a week) just to get a discount on the chunk clothes. I don’t want my boss to be a skinny, little idiot who calls me darling even though I’m clearly the elder in this situation. And when I am telling someone that a 2x is the equivalent of a 22/24 I KNOW what I’m talking about, that’s my size, I know what I am, don’t come over and say “Oh I thought it was an 18/20, sorry I don’t really wear these sizes.” No crap, crackhead how about you go work at Abercrombie where your blonde, tan, tall and skinny self belongs. Get out of my domain, I got this.
2) People who pepper spray other people for a Black Friday Xbox. What in the HELLLL, is wrong with you, are you insane? How absolutely ridiculous is this person to think that would be an okay way to keep people from the stupid pallet of gaming systems. Not to mention, a lot of good buying your kid an xbox is going to be when you’re in jail from assault charges. Way to go mom, that kid will be in therapy for years, wondering why the xbox makes him sad.
3) People who just assume they know everything about anything. I personally believe 70% of people just BS their way through life, only really knowing enough to not sound like a total idiot. At least most of the people I have to deal with this applies to. The other 30% know they sound like an idiot, but pretend not to realize it. (This is just my opinion and not the belief of anyone else associated with this rant.) I also, include myself in that 70%. I’m not exempt to idiocy, I’m no Kim K…well I am, but I’m not the famous one.
4) Bible thumpers. And I’m not talking about your typical, every day Jesus freak. I’m Catholic, so trust me I get it. But I am not the kind of Catholic that walks door to door asking if you’ve “Found Jesus.” I’m the kind that opens the door and says “I figured if he was missing it’d be all over the news…so, no I haven’t been looking.” Today I saw people standing on the street talking to the people who would roll their windows down, freezing their asses off, holding signs that said “Jesus is coming, are you ready?” I live in Ohio, it’s December it ain’t pleasant out here, go inside and pray for God to grant you a miracle, and give you a brain.
5) UofM fans. I’m a buckeye, it is what it is.
6) Men. All men, not just my husband. My dad, my brother, my cousins and uncles. Almost every single man I know is a moron. And I’m not talking about his intellect, I’m talking about when it comes to having any common sense at all. If I say something, I’m telling you exactly what I want. Leave me alone means, leave me alone. I’m pissed off and don’t want to talk to you right now. I don’t want to hear about your bowel movements, your stench, or hear you yelling about how you “shot that guy in the face, there’s no way he didn’t die.” (Call Of Duty for those of you lucky ladies who don’t have to deal with that shit)
One thing that really doesn’t piss me off is…
The fact that I was given the opportunity to guest write for the weekly Mad Fat Friday blog!! I’ve told people before, that reading this is the main reason I don’t kill people all week, because I doubt they’d let me read the blog from my prison cell. So I hope you all enjoyed it, maybe it made your Friday a little less obnoxious, maybe it stopped you from assaulting someone with pepper spray, I don’t know. But I hope it made someone laugh, because I’m cracking up.
So anyways, that wraps it up. Today’s rant, brought to you by PMS and lack of sleep.
Have a great day!